Pursuing an uncontested divorce allows you to end your marriage without the need to go to court. But, it also means coming to terms with your spouse on all of the issues involved. Even when spouses are generally on the same page about pursuing an uncontested divorce, they will often have competing goals during the divorce process—and finding a way forward will involve finding solutions that work for both of them.
7 Strategies for Coming to Terms During an Uncontested Divorce in Arizona
With this in mind, how can you and your spouse find a way to come to terms when pursuing an uncontested divorce? Here are some examples of strategies that we frequently recommend to our clients:
1. Start with the Basics
While it is common for divorcing spouses to have various competing interests, it is equally common for them to share some basic common goals. For example, they will both generally want the process to be as painless and inexpensive as possible, and they will both generally want what is best for their children.
Acknowledging where divorcing spouses’ interests align can help get their discussions headed in the right direction. It can also help them see that they might not be as far apart (at least when it comes to their divorce) as it initially seemed. By acknowledging that you both generally want the same thing in the end, you can frame your discussions around achieving your common end goals.
2. Don’t Dwell on Differences (At Least Not Yet)
In this same vein, it is important not to dwell on your differences too early in the process. While you and your spouse will need to address your differences eventually, you don’t need to address them when doing so is likely to make things worse instead of better.
As you start the divorce process, it can be enough to simply identify where your differences exist. Then, you can set them aside while you focus on the areas where you generally agree.
3. Find and Acknowledge Areas of Agreement
Even when divorcing spouses have very different opinions about certain issues, they will usually also have areas where they are generally in agreement—beyond the basics we discussed above. By focusing your early efforts in these areas, you can make progress that both: (i) increases the incentive to continue moving forward rather than letting your negotiations break down; and, (ii) helps you consider options for resolving other issues that you may not have considered previously.
4. Start Tackling More Challenging Issues Once You’ve Made Some Progress
Once you’ve made some progress—and once you’ve both invested time and effort in the divorce process—then you can revisit the areas of disagreement that you set aside earlier. At this stage, you and your spouse will both have additional insight into your shared goals and priorities, and you will both be more familiar with the negotiation process itself. This alone can have a significant impact on your ability to find a mutually agreeable path forward.
In any case, prioritizing can help here as well. You and your spouse can either: (i) commit to addressing the most challenging issues first; or, (ii) save the most challenging issues for last while you make more progress on other issues that you need to address anyway. Both strategies are viable—the key is to try to do what makes the most sense based on the specific circumstances at hand.
5. Focus on Your (and Your Spouse’s) Specific Circumstances
This raises another important point: When going through a divorce, you need to focus on your divorce. Don’t focus on what has worked for your friends or family members, and don’t place too much emphasis on anecdotes you’ve read online. Everyone’s circumstances are different; and, ultimately, finalizing your divorce will involve finding the specific answers that are right for you and your spouse.
6. Consider Divorce Mediation or a Collaborative Law Divorce
Even when both spouses have the best of intentions, sometimes they simply won’t have all of the information they need to make informed decisions on their own. When this is the case, divorce mediation and the collaborative law divorce process can help facilitate successful negotiations that avoid the need to go to court.
In divorce mediation, the spouses work with a neutral third party (the mediator) whose role is to help them find creative ways to resolve their differences. The mediator is a facilitator, not a decision-maker. In a collaborative law divorce, the spouses work with independent professionals (such as financial advisors, psychologists, and social workers) who lend their expertise to help the spouses make informed decisions. Divorcing spouses can use mediation and the collaborative law process to resolve as many (or as few) issues as necessary.
7. Remain Positive and Ensure that You Are Making Sound Decisions
Finally, as you work through the divorce process, it is important to remain positive and ensure that you are making sound decisions. You will encounter roadblocks, and sometimes the process will be hard. But, you will get through it; and, the more effort you put in now, the more satisfied you will be with the outcome you ultimately achieve.
This brings us to our last point: When going through a divorce, sound decision-making is critical. You cannot afford to make assumptions or let your emotions get in the way. The decisions you make now could impact your life (and your children’s lives) for years or decades to come, and you owe it to yourself to make sure you are not left wondering what might have been.
Questions About Pursuing an Uncontested Divorce in Arizona? Contact Us for a Free, No-Obligation Consultation Today
Do you need to know more about the process of pursuing an uncontested divorce in Arizona? If so, we invite you to get in touch. To arrange a free, no-obligation consultation with an experienced Phoenix divorce lawyer at Weingart Family Law, please call 480-542-0099 or request an appointment online today.